Here’s the scene:
You’ve been on a few dates with a guy. You’re ‘re familiar with him at the movies. Tonight, you’re seeing another movie that you’ve heard about, and that you’ve been really looking forward to seeing. You’re meeting him at the movies. You’ve walked to the theater, he drove and held a place in line for the both of you. In the past when you’ve walked to the theater, he’s driven you home after you both have dinner after the movie. That’s the “normal” scenario. Tonight, there’s an excitement in the air.
It’s not just you that’s excited to see the movie, you overhear others talking how much they’re looking forward to seeing the movie. The movie theater is filled to the brim with people, more people than usual–every seat is taken. There’s an energy of excitement in the room. Your date is on the isle, you’re seating in the second seat in. The house lights come down, the movie begins.
The movie is funny from the get-go. The entire audience is laughing. There are parts of the movie that people all over the theater are even clapping at some parts because the movie is so funny. You clap at some really good parts. Even your date claps. As the movie continues, you become aware that maybe you clapped too close to the people in front of you, based on the person turning their head a little. Your date tells you “Hey, the people in front of you are not liking your clapping.” You understand that, and, you also are aware that many others, the people directly behind you are clapping and laughing, too. It’s the movies, a fun night out.
So being conscious and considerate, the next time the audience roars in laughter and clapping, you hold your own clapping closer to you so as not to disturb the people in front of you. Even as you do this, your date reaches over, grabs your hands, closes them and tries to bring them down to the armrest between you and your date. You try, and succeed, in unwringing your hands from his grasp. What do you do?
This is a scenario, based in reality, of what can happen in a relationship. How do you decide what behaviors are appropriate or inappropriate? If there are inappropriate behaviors, actions that for you, are just not cool, just not acceptable…what do you do? What’s a red flag for you? (A red flag in relationships is a sign, a symbol, an action that something is very wrong, the scene is just not safe). Do you do your “normal” thing of going out to dinner after the movie? What does this scenario, and what you do about this say about your date, and about you? What is the message that’s being sent by your date? What’s the non verbal message he’s sending to you?
These are important questions for you to answer regarding your relationships. I can help. Working together, you’ll come up and work with the answers to these questions. This is what I do. I help you navigate your relationships, sexual, relational, individual.